Words Unsaid - Part II

Posted on Thu Jun 26th, 2025 @ 5:01pm by Lieutenant Endymion Tox

863 words; about a 4 minute read

Mission: Preservation Instinct
Location: Personal Quarters | USS Ontario

ON:

Tox sat at the tiny desk in his quarters. He'd taken the medication that the doctor had prescribed for him for his flu. He was feeling a bit tired but he had set a goal for himself to complete the some work planning before he went to sleep.

As he sat writing up a plan to make things more organized in sickbay his desk terminal beeped.


=/\= Incoming voice message from PLUTO - via S L E P coms =/\=

Tox raised an eyebrow that would have made a Vulcan proud. "Pluto?" He'd never sent a voice message. Once he'd sent a clip of him playing the violin but it had been logged as a music clip. This was...

Tox took a moment to breath before saying, "Computer play message."

The computer chirped and the sound began, a rich voice that was a smooth baritone that, although somewhat familiar, was something he couldn't place. It varied from time to time slipping into a whispered bass and even bordering on a low soprano; it seemed to shift tone with the emotions of the confession.


My Dearest KERBEROS,

My personal logs have become less logs and more letters that I will never send because while we know one another's souls quite well there are some things I...would not admit to. For a start I would never tell you that you are the only entity in this universe that keeps me grounded and truly living within it.

I would never tell you that you are the first being on my mind when I wake and I think of what it would be like if we really met at night before I drift into nothingness and the nightmares of a past I wish to forget.

Right now, I'm anxious, there has been a lot of change around me and the only thought I have is the wish that I could see you, a thought that scares me more then anything. You asked, a few days ago when we spoke, why we haven't met in fifteen years. The answer a simple one that I did not, and will not, give. I am but a coward.

Part of me is so used to being rejected that I have developed a superstition to it. 'If I meet him, he will leave and never speak to me again.' All this followed by questions like 'Am I ever going to be good enough to stand in the same room as him?.....


As the message went on Tox's mouth dropped open and pretty much hung open until the last words were out. When it had played through Tox sat there. "I...No...Gods I'm hallucinating. Damned Doctor Grumpleuffiikus misdiagnosed me or I'm having a reaction to the meds.... I'm .... rejecting the symbiont and am dying?"

He blinked. "Computer am I alive."


=/\= All vital signs point to subject Endymion Tox being alive =/\=


"Have I fallen and hit my head and as a result I'm not in a delusion filled coma?"


The computer didn't miss a beat, =/\= No such incident recorded. =/\=


"huh. Okay how about have I entered a wormhole that transported me to an alternate universe where I'm reading..er...rather hearing what I want to hear?"


=/\= Please restate request, unable to comply.=/\=


He sighed. "Well...that response computes." Tox shrugged. "Going crazy it is! I'm going with it. Computer open voice response to PLUTO."


=/\=Recording in process. Begin when ready.=/\=


Silence stretched. "Computer stop recording. Clear and start again."

The words didn't seem to come, they were trapped inside and he couldn't speak them. He stopped the recording and then listened to the massage again, and then again. He listened to it several times. By the fourth time silent tears tracked down his face.

This was obviously something that PLUTO had not wanted to send but Tox was glad that he'd received it. Finally he knew the truth of things and he knew that his own feelings were mirrored in PLUTO.

Part of him wanted to respond right away but part of him was scared to because then what he'd been hoping for would be in reach and that was as scary as it was exciting.

Tox sighed. He stood and went to the bathroom to wash his face. Making himself a cup of tea he settled back at the desk and listened to the message again. Then something clicked for him. A decision, but still he didn't trust himself.

He sighed. "Well counselor. It appears you're going to be getting another visit from me."

Tox finished his tea and then went to bed. His work was forgotten but he did listen to the message on repeat until he fell asleep to Pluto's voice. That night he slept well and he dreamed well. The next morning he was even more determined to head over to the counselor's office to see if she could help him with a decision, and let's face it, he still wasn't convinced that this was not some hallucination.

Just as he was about to leave his quarters a counseling message came through. He smiled. "The universe delivers!"

OFF:

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Lieutenant Endymion Tox (NPC)
Head Nurse
USS Ontario

 

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