Meetings After Midnight (Part I)

Posted on Mon Feb 5th, 2024 @ 10:55am by Lieutenant Haruna Mizuhara & Lieutenant Amanda Rose
Edited on on Mon Feb 5th, 2024 @ 11:04am

1,291 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: The Bandits of Black Rain
Location: Amanda Rose's Quarters - 02:00

ON

Haruna paced up and down outside the counselor's door. She kept stopping briefly and reaching out to touch the chime, but then pulling her hand back and continued to pace. Anyone who had passed recently would have observed the Chief Engineer had been doing this exact pattern of behaviour for the last hour, possibly two hours now. She wasn't in her uniform, but the grey cropped undershirt and shorts. She was even barefoot and it didn't seem to faze her at all.

Finally, she stopped and focused her gaze on the door of the counselor's quarters. Her gaze was fixed and suddenly highly focused. Haruna took a long deep breath, allowing her chest to fill with air and then exhale it slowly before she reached out and pushed the chime. She continued to hold her finger on the chime, hoping that the counselor was inside.

Amanda was exhausted from the day's events. Sleep was a warm and blissful relief from everything and when she did go to sleep, she fell so deeply and soundly that she was certain that nothing could wake her up save a red alert.

The Counselor, however, was mistaken. There she was, at least in her dreams, arriving at the church. She was all ready to marry the tall, dark, and handsome captain that she met on her most recent assignment. The church bells rang aloud, announcing the impending nuptials. However, something was wrong about the church bells. There was no dings and dongs, it was more of a loud chime that continued without end. This is now how church bells are supposed to sound, she started to rationalize as the church faded away. Someone is at my door.

Wearily, she opened her eyes and saw that she had been tightly holding her three-foot-tall stuffed teddy bear in a smothering fashion. The chime continued to buzz and she apologized to the bear, "Sorry, Chauncey. We'll get back to sleep soon."

Amanda stretched and the chime on her door did not abate, "Is someone there?" she asked as she made sure that she was at least covered. Apparently, she had chosen to sleep in flannel pajamas, so, that at least made her feel more confident. It had to be a broken chime, did it not? After all, nobody would just hold the chime on her door, would they?

"Yes Me!" Haruna said, trying not to shout too loud.

Oh, God! What in the hell is she doing here at this hour? I suppose that I should be somewhat relieved that she did not enter through my ceiling A weary voice called to Haruna, "Come in, then, Haruna. Just stop ringing my chime."

The doors opened and Haruna walked through. She allowed them to swish shut behind her, as she kept her eyes down low at the ground. She began to stand there sheepishly, rubbing her hands together. "Counselor. I couldn't sleep. So, I started to think, and I can't come up with answers. So I thought you might know them?"

It is not easy being a counselor, let alone one for Haruna. Amanda sighed. "What answers are you seeking, Haruna?"

"Why does no one seem to like me?" Haruna asked innocently.

Self realization? Haruna? Is this a dream? "Why do you think that nobody likes you, Haruna?" Amanda replied, trying to think like a counselor rather than an exhausted human being.

Haruna looked up at the counselor. "No one takes me seriously, including you." She stated pointing at her. "You don't like me either, do you?"

"I think you can be rather frustrating," Amanda responded, dodging the question, yet answering honestly. "People take your skills seriously. I have little doubt of that. However, you refuse to conform yourself to more typical social dynamics or take any advice that I have tried to give you to assist you, Haruna. That is frustrating."

"Oh..." Haruna said as she looked down at the deck and seemed suddenly very deflated. "So, basically you think like everyone else does..." she said in a low tone. "That I'm some sort of weirdo that will never fit in, will never have friends and will always be the black sheep no matter where she goes...."

She didn't give Amanda a chance to answer as she looked up, her eyes were very different from their normal enthusiastic, optimistic, and excited sheen. They were full of anger, full of hate and full of what could only be described as 'pure rage'. "I get it..." she said in a low tone. "You hate me, don't you? You don't consider me equal because I'm different!"

Haruna could feel her fingernails cutting into her as she clenched her fists, cutting through her skin. The pain felt good as she stood there, her emotions on fire. "I came for you to see if you could help. But you just tell me that it's all my fault. You say that people take my skills seriously, but you doubted everything I did on that Klingon ship. You thought you knew best because I'm different," she began to shake a little as tears started to form in her eyes.

"ADMIT IT! YOU HATE ME, DON'T YOU?! YOU CAN'T STAND ME! YOU JUST WANT ME OFF THIS SHIP!" she shouted, her voice becoming loud and clear. For such a tiny engineer she probably woke up half the deck with the volume she was at.

"Haruna," Amanda started in a soft voice. "I have no desire to have you off this ship and I certainly do not hate you." She moved closer to Haruna, trying to soothe her temper tantrum, and kept her voice even and soft, despite being tired. "If I really felt that way, I would have thrown you out of my quarters rather than invited you in. I've not said anything is your fault. However, did you act, in my opinion rashly when we were kidnapped? Yes, I did and I still do. I also think that you cannot expect everyone to just accommodate you. We're on a ship that has rules and expectations. You have a bunch of people that would happily be your friend. I know nobody that thinks like you, Haruna. If you want to make friends and be more well accepted, you are going to have to compromise."

"You just want to change me!" Haruna snapped back as she took a step back and holding her arms in front of her as if protecting herself. "I'm not normal! I GET THAT!" she said ending up shouting as tears ran down her cheeks. "I know the DAMN RULES! I know how to do stuff and I know when to bend those rules! But I can't change who I am! I can't help it if I'm the different one!" she snapped back, once again digging her fingernails into her palms, breaking the skin and drawing blood.

"Nobody is asking you to change who you are, Haruna." Amanda noticed that Haruna drew blood and started to debate whether Haruna needed to be removed from duty due to harming herself. "What I am trying to assist you in doing is conforming your conduct to societal norms. They're two different things."

"That doesn't even make sense!" Haruna snapped back. "You say I need to fir into societal norms, but I shouldn't change?!" Her eyes narrowed as she stared directly into Amanda's eyes. "Why can't society CHANGE TO ACCEPT ME! Instead, I've got to change to BE ACCEPTED BY THEM!" she shouted again pointing at the door as if to indicate everyone else outside the room.

(To be continued...)

Lieutenant Haruna Mizuhara
Chief Engineer
USS Ontario

Lieutenant Amanda Rose
Chief Counselor
USS Ontario

 

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