Part I - Relief and Panic

Posted on Thu Apr 17th, 2025 @ 11:51pm by Lieutenant Xavier

1,196 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Preservation Instinct
Location: USS Lime House | Various Location In Ship
Timeline: 1 Month Ago

ON:

Xavier stared at the screen with an unblinking gaze. He'd read the words at least ten times but it still hadn't hit home so he read them again.

Dear Lt. JG Xavier,

Thank you for completing the requirements and submitting the flight hours to qualify for the Chief Flight Control Officer. We are pleased to inform you that you have indeed been granted the position and a transfer to the USS Ontario under the Captaincy of Commander Grace Vetur.

In addition to the transfer and new position you have been granted the rank of full Lieutenant. Please note that we have taken into account your file request to forgo any promotion ceremonies and have ensured that you can pick up your new rank insignia on the Station upon your arrival.

Due to the schedule of the Ontario and the time of travel you will have a few days to get yourself acclimated before having to board the ship. Your shuttle off the Lime House is due to leave tomorrow night.

Congratulations Lt. Xavier!

Commander Chris-Anne Adins
Starfleet HQ Human Resources

Xavier read it again and then closed his eyes letting the words wash over him. He was going to be leaving, tomorrow. He wouldn't have to stay here. He wouldn't have to see his brother, now his XO, Commander Surian ever again. Would the anxiety attacks stop? He had just started to rebuild his life and then he'd been forced into a fresh start. How many more did he have in him?

With a deep sigh he looked around his quarters. There was not much to pack. He traveled light. There would be one maybe two chests and a few bags and, of course, the two most precious things to him.

"Okay. I can do this. I'm off for the day and tomorrow so...lunch first and then packing."

Pushing the chair back he stood and headed to the entrance where a mirror stood. He looked at himself, fixed his hair, and then said, "Goal for today. Get lunch. Pack. Don't think about Surian, don't think about the past. Lunch, Packing. That's the goal." He gave a nod and headed out. His little ritual always calmed him. That's how he had pushed through a lot of his life, the parts that were difficult to survive. He'd set a goal, met it, set another. It was autopilot and it worked. No thinking, no wallowing yet the anxiety attacks or panic attacks, whatever they were, still came.

The walk to the mess hall was calming in itself. The ship, in dry dock, was re-carpeted and had that new carpet smell chemical and pungent with a hint of the rubber underpadding. The lift was blissfully empty and as he travelled four decks down he closed his eyes allowing himself to focus on the slow hum of the lift as and the vibrations from the floor.

The ride didn't last long and the swish of the doors had him opening his eyes and striding to the mess hall. He still had to say goodbye to Gurty...it was his name for the ship. Every ship had a soul and he prided himself in giving that soul a name. Gurty was old but she was reliable and had depth to her. When he was at the controls he'd achieved perfect oneness with her. The way her engines purred, the way he had to enter a 3.007% adjustment to any course given to keep Gurty on track. It was little things like this that he would miss but he was looking forward to getting to know his new ship.

Entering the mess hall he headed over to where Chef stood behind the counter. "Hello my Vulcan friend! What can I do for you today?"

Today was a special day. He had no intention of telling anyone he was leaving, who would he tell? He had no friends and he didn't want Surian to know where he was going although...as the XO he'd figure it out. "I would like a veggie burger with those French fries with holes in them."

The Chef smiled. "Waffle Fries. Gotcha. Sour Cream and Chives and the works?"

"Indeed."

"Well! You rarely get that. Anything special about today?"

"It is just an order," He said coldly.

The Chef sighed. "Alright give me a minute."

Several minutes later with his food in hand he headed out to find a table snagging a nice one by the view port where he could look out at the stars and let his mind wander to the latest book he was reading. He slid into the seat and began to savor his food.

This would work out. He was sure of it. He had gotten half way through the meal when a shadow fell over the table. Xavier looked up and cringed. The person he was trying to avoid was standing there. "Commander." He said.

There was a pause. "Xavier can I ... join you?"

"No sir. I was just finishing lunch I have a few things to tend to."

He was about to stand when Surian gently pushed his shoulder down. "Can I just speak to you a moment?"

"No, I have nothing to say, sir. I am off duty if this is something regarding performance or work it should wait until we are both on duty."

There was a pause. "Xavier I'm your older brother."

"Not anymore. Not for a long time and certainly you will never be again." He stood and took his tray walking over to the disposal unit and tossing it in. Suddenly he felt like throwing up. He kept himself in check as he walked quickly towards the door. He walked with his head held high and no faltering in his steps...that was until he reached the turbo lift.

Blissfully it was empty but the person he was trying to avoid had caught up to him and entered just as the doors closed calling the lift stop.

Xavier's entire body shook. This was not a good sign, he didn't want Surian to see him like this. He knew what would follow. First his body shook, then the attack came. His breathing was already shallow and his vision spotty. The sounds around him came as though from a tunnel.

"Xander..."

"I..." His teeth chattered. "N...not him. Xa...Xavier."

Surian sighed. He was taken by surprise. Xander...or Xavier as he called himself was now pale, Vulcans didn't go pale but he had and his eyes were unfocused his body shaking, violently. "Are you alright." He reached out but Xavier pulled back.

"Leave...please."

"Sickbay and that's an order!"

Xavier was about to protest but his chest felt tight and he was sure he wasn't getting enough air. Dark spots began to dance at the corner of his vision and then with a gasp he collapsed.

Surian's eyes widened as he watched his brother pass out. He caught him before he hit the ground "Medical emergency transport required."

Those words filtered through Xavier's still slightly conscious mind before darkness overtook him.


To Be continued...

-----

Lieutenant Xavier
Chief Flight Control Officer
USS Ontario

 

RSS Feed