Attack of the Killer Plomeek

Posted on Sat Apr 24th, 2021 @ 8:11am by Lieutenant Percival Bálor Ph.D & Lieutenant JG Varik

1,982 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: The Lonesome Road
Location: USS Ontario | Deck 07 | Science Corridor

With his background in biochemistry, biology had come fairly naturally to Percival. One of the nicest features of the Ambassador class starship he was serving on, in particular, was the devoted space on decks seven and eight for primary and secondary science labs. Being Chief Science Officer, he had some pull in what these laboratories were used for, and one of them on deck seven, in particular, he had strongly recommended being used for botanical studies. Perhaps it was because horticulture was a sort of hobby for the lieutenant, but he did have a bit of a green thumb.

Green thumb aside, however, Percy was not simply your run-of-the-mill scientist, or maybe he was? Whatever that case may be, ordinary or not, scientists had a tendency to overstep their boundaries at times and playing 'God' if only on a small stage was not beyond their scope. In fact, low and behold, Percy had done just that. He made himself a botanical God, and with all his biological knowledge and his prosperous dismissal of potential risk, he snapped his scientific fingers and had grafted two plants: the Plomeek plant of Vulcan and the Hebitian snare vine of Cardassia Prime.

He had toyed around with the soil, kept the plant extremely well-fed and nourished. It had grown overnight, practically tenfold because of the snare vine's natural growth rate which was abnormal compared to most non-sentient plants. When he stepped into the science lab, however, he made a startling find. The plant was not just growing fast, it was growing large and the vines had managed to grow so quickly, they had crept out from the garden enclosure, and vines were tangled with bulkheads and resting across work consoles.

"Uh-oh," he muttered to himself. The First Officer may have signed off on allowing him a botanical lab on deck seven, but at this rate, it was turning less into a botanical lab and more of a wild forest. Plomeek plants did not grow like this; Hebitian snare vines, however, did grow similar to this. What Percy did now take into account was to dormant the DNA of the snare vine. Historically, the vines had sharp barbs that were 'bred out' of the plant in recent years, making them less of a threat and more of a simple tripping hazard.

This plant was monstrous, and he already saw more problems on the rise. Smaller plants had begun to spring from it. "That's not good," he said shaking his head. "Not good at all," he added stepping back from the plant and grabbing a tricorder. It had already begun to reproduce...asexually. Small little hair like fingers on the plants triggered the response of the barbed vines to lash abough and grab onto something...anything...even someone and gain a vice grip on them.

Percy touching the plant inadvertently made himself a target. The vines from around the lab were 'awoken' to his presence and began to move in on his location, blindly moving across the consoles and across the decking. "OH SHIT!" he shouted as he felt something begin to climb up his leg. He quickly stomped on the vine around his leg and crushed it at a weak point. His leg was free, but the plant even though it was not actually sentient by any scientific or medical terms, did not seem to appreciate that gesture.

He dropped his tricorder and scrambled to the doorway which opened up immediately once he reached the threshold, and he fell out into the corridor on all fours and quickly began to crawl down the corridor, not bothering to get back upright. He squealed loudly. "Get out, get out, save yourselves!" as his head collided with what felt like a tree trunk, but looking up he found a Vulcan.

"It's alive, it's coming for us," he said without explaining the context. Though he did not need to, the doorway to his lab remained open due to the quickly growing plant and the barbed vines unfurling out into the corridors like the tentacles of a sea monster. They immediately started crawling upward the bulkheads and across the deck, one came out several feet and latched itself around Percival's ankle and began to drag the half Tellarite back towards the lab, but he grabbed onto the Vulcan's ankle.

The Vulcan Percival had grabbed was the slight frame of a certain Doctor Varik who (feeling the force of the vines dragging the scientist back towards his lab and Vulcan physiology being what it was) had to endure the wild inconvenience of placing a hand on a nearby door frame to gently stop herself being dragged down onto the floor with him.

"Do you require assistance, Lieutenant?" Varik asked, calmly.

The half-Tellarite snorted and glared up at the Vulcan. "Do I require your assistance?" he echoed what she had said to him. "Aye, what do ya think? There's a bloody plant crawling out through muh science lab right now and is practically getting to second base on muh leg and the blasted thing hasn't even bought me a shot yet. Do ya think a guy like me could ask ya for a wee bit of help, lieutenant?"

"Doctor," Varik corrected him with rage-inducing calmness. "And a simple yes would suffice, and lessen the chance of this highly mobile flora reaching third. Allow me..." keeping her hand on the door frame for support Varik leant forward, attempting to get a hold on the plant, but she was only five feet five and didn't have the reach. With a sigh she stepped as far forward as she could with her other foot and in one move released her hand hold on the door and with her other hand gripped the plant just under where it had wrapped itself around Percival's leg. Varik ripped the vine away with ease. "There." She retorted with typical Vulcan superiority. But she had failed to notice the vine's reaction after having been relieved of its purchase on Percival. It snaked around her own ankle and pulled. Hard.

"Wh..."

From her new position seated firmly on the ground a slightly stunned-looking Varik forcefully detached the plant again this time from her own ankle. Its response was to wind itself around her wrist, starting a tug of war that it rather pathetically lost and this point was where Varik had her first opportunity to get a good look at it.

"Is this Plomeek?" The Doctor asked Percival inquisitively, still showing no outward sign of any emotional reaction to the chaos unfurling in the corridor.

"Yup, spicest and feistiest Plomeek you've ever had," quipped Percy squealing and fighting the plant which had taken ahold of him once more. "Not ya garden variety. I like to call it Franken-Plomeek."

The science officer started pulling at the vine. "DOCTOR," he said correcting his previous mistake of addressing her by rank. "Ya wouldn't happen to have a bloody phaser on you, would you?" inquired the half-Tellarite. Before the woman could answer, another scream from the other end of the corridor interjected.

Percy watched as a crewman, probably a technician was dragged down the corridor, the plant wrapped around their waist. Percy looked over at the Vulcan. "Don't suppose you can nerve pinch a plant?"

"A phaser?" Varik asked with mild incredulity, "I'm a doctor, not a gun cabinet. What is your plan to suppress this... Franken-Plomeek?" Varik looked to the ensnared crewman, clearly wanting to assist.

Percy twisted and turned about, trying to wiggle free. He snorted and squealed with every twist. The damn plant had quite the grip, and the barbs hurt like the dickens. "Well, Doctor, I am not about to lather my rump up with barbeque sauce and and find out if it's carnivorous with a taste for pork!"

"Panicking is unhelpful, Lieutenant," Varik pointed out bluntly and managed to stand again as another frond wrapped around her other hand and the tug of war went up a level.

"Computer, erect a level ten forcefield around deck seven, sections twenty and twenty one." The computer beeped an acknowledgement to Varik's request and the forcefields buzzed into place, trapping the plant and severing a few of the more adventurous vines including those holding Varik and Percival. Her hands free, Varik could tap her com badge.

"Doctor Varik to transporter room one. Lock on to the crewman on deck seven section twenty-one and beam her directly to sickbay." The crewman dematerialised in a haze of blue light. Varik pulled the lifeless stems from her wrists and turned to regard Percival.

"Logic in the face of Chaos, Lieutenant."

"Your logic had never sounded sexier, Doctor," commented the Tellarite. He was glad she chose to blockade the section, preventing others from falling victim, and getting the Crewman to safety.

He snarled at her though. "I do not panick, I strategically contemplate...THANK YOU very much," he said abrasively. "We could kill it with an airborne herbicide, Doctor, but we would be exposed to it as well. If you feel like you could treat us after?"

"The soup will taste a little odd, but as the humans say, needs must" Varik quipped, totally deadpan. "Your contemplation sounds agreeable. I will treat us, of course."

Percival snorted. "Isn't that your peoples' schtick? Experiencing something new and than dryly commenting about it," scoffed the science officer. "Of course you agree, I didn't get this position without having brains to go with my good looks."

"Your brains are not in question Lieutenant," Varik assured him. Whether anything would be inferred from this statement was entirely out of her control.

Percy looked over at Varik. "Doctor," he added emphasizing his own education. "Doctor Percival Bálor, charmed to make your acquaintance."

The science officer shook his head "Computer, create a concoction of Cloransulam-methyl, diclosulam, flumetsulam, and metosulam, and release in tolerable amounts through the ventilation of this section, target the botanical lab."

The computer replied yet protested on medical risk. He looked at Varik. "Would ya mind talking to the nice Computer, Doctor?"

"Computer," Varik complied without further comment but her rather impassive look stayed on Percival. "Medical override, authorisation Varik Pi Sigma one three one."

The vines seemed to loosen their grip a few moments later as the mixture was released. Percy pulled off the jacket portion of his uniform and scrunched it up, placing it over the Vulcan's mouth. "Here, use this to limit ya exposure. Muh Tellarite side will protect me from most common toxins" he added.

Of course as a physician and as a overly studious Vulcan, she probably knew that already. The vines began retreating back into the science lab, their green color changing and fading to a brownish one. The plant was dying. He had destroyed his creation. Science God 1 - Abomination 0. "Take that ya overgrown flora."

Varik had in fact been holding her breath since using her medical override, her eyes closed and concentrating on entirely halting her breathing. As an unfortunate side-effect of Percival's kind gesture with the jacket Varik was jolted from her efforts by the surprise and took in a lungful of contaminated air. She started coughing. A lot.

"Alright, big bad plant dealt with," he said with a chuckle, coughing a bit himself. "I'm sure security is about to show up armed with phaser rifles any minute. Let's get the hell out of here," added Percy, scooping the Vulcan up into his arms, right off her feet.

He started to head towards the nearest lift. "To Sickbay we go before we start to glow in the dark."

Varik was in no place to object, she could hardly breathe let alone talk. Her eyes started to go a little bloodshot with green from the coughing as they reached the turbolift doors. Far from the proud, proper, kind yet starched Vulcan she started to look somewhat vulnerable. She also really couldn't stop coughing.

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